Money expert's warning over link between love and debt this Valentine's Day

Whilst money may not be the most romantic topic for Valentine’s Day, our resident expert, Sinead Campbell, is highlighting just how important it is to recognise the links between love and debt.

Sinead is Head of Money, Debt and Quality at Advice NI. In 2023/24, her team helped 3,395 people struggling with over £44 million of debt, empowering them to regain control of their finances.

She says there are many different reasons why people struggle financially but the links between love and debt are becoming more apparent, and below she highlights some of the issues her debt advisers regularly deal with.

“Romance scams are increasing, as fraudsters are becoming more creative in devising new and sophisticated schemes including online dating scams, where perpetrators build emotional connections with unsuspecting victims to swindle them out of money.

“The financial losses incurred can leave victims feeling embarrassed and, in some cases, facing serious financial difficulty. No genuine relationship begins with sending money to someone you haven't met, but these criminals spend months earning the trust of their victims, leading them to believe they’re in a loving relationship. They soon demand money or encourage their victims to take out credit cards or loans on their behalf. The true extent of romance scams remains hidden, as many victims are too embarrassed to come forward, but raising awareness about the sophistication of these scams is crucial.

“Our advice is three-fold. Firstly, if a situation appears too good to be true, it probably is. Secondly, never send money to someone you haven’t met in-person. And lastly, be very wary of anyone pressuring you for money, passwords, account numbers or PINs.”

The most recent PSNI figures show that in 2024 there were 127 romance scams reported amounting to losses of £1,083,007. But as Sinead explains, deceitful behaviours can also exist in real relationships.

“Our debt advisers often see financial infidelity in relationships. It manifests itself in different ways, for example it could be one partner lying about having debt or how much they owe. But it can also be a partner being dishonest about their salary, their spending habits or even concealing purchases. Remember, if you find yourself in this position, you are not alone. We recognise that lying can be due to underlying issues associated with guilt, shame or fear, but it’s really important that people reach out for help before they end up in unmanageable levels of debt. We want to destigmatise debt and reassure people that it can happen to anyone, and most importantly help is available.

“Financial manipulation or coercion occurs too – this is a very destructive form of abuse. If you feel you’re not totally in control of your own finances, our expert debt advisers can help guide you on how to take back control and handle this very sensitive situation.”

And with people heading out this weekend in hopes of finding love, Sinead’s final piece of advice is to be honest when dating.

She concludes, “Young people are becoming extremely affected by what they see on social media. In many cases they are taking on debt to keep up with the perceived lifestyles of influential people online. It’s a concept known as wealth porn – and something our debt advisers are seeing more of.

“There’s an Experian survey from 2024 that reveals 18 to 35-year-olds are racking up around £2,000 worth of debt when dating, with over half of those asked admitting to feeling the need to overspend to impress. Discussing financial topics should be a top priority in any relationship – new or old – and this starts with developing confidence in how you manage your own financial health.”

Advice NI offers free, impartial and confidential support when it comes to budgeting and debt. Those in need of advice can visit adviceni.net or call 0800 915 4604 to speak directly to an adviser between 9.00am and 5.00pm, Monday to Friday.